Brian Zinchuk is editor and owner of Pipeline Online
In the spirit of “Get off my lawn!” I’ve realized that we need an entirely new feature, required by law, built into all new electronic devices of importance.
Call it the “dumb mode.”
Alternatively, you could call it the “make this damned thing work mode,” but I’ll stick with dumb mode.
My mom recently bought a 2019 Honda with next to no miles. But she’s struggled with the phone and radio. When Sirius called to ask her how she liked the preview, she told them she couldn’t figure out how to turn the radio on.
My dad is getting up in age, into his 80s now. When his satellite TV receiver was updated, it meant he had to get a new TV to work with the modern HDMI connections. So I got him a 40 inch TV. The problem is, they’re all smart TVs these days, even the cheaper ones. When I turn it on, I have a hell of a time figuring it out. As a result, despite having dozens of channels, he’s afraid to change it off CTV Regina lest he not be able to figure out how to bring it back.
I hope his current iPhone, the last model with a button on the bottom of the screen, never dies, because I don’t know if I could ever get him to figure out how to “swipe up.”
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Last year, we picked up some cheap TVs for the family cabin to go with the new fibre optic internet I was finally able to get installed. Now the TV service through Westman Communications is so complex, I can barely figure out how to watch a simple channel. Once I get past the TV’s built-in input and app menu, I end up in the God-awful Westman menu. The TV function is an app buried in a menu, if you can believe that. It’s not screaming out “TV,” either. And that’s on top of the smart TV series of apps, and then the apps within the Westman box. App upon app upon app, but I can’t turn on the damned news!
Thankfully the cabin TV is a Samsung like the one at home, so I kind of have that part cased, but the Westman TV as an app thing blows my mind.
Let me be clear – I am NOT a technological luddite. I got my first PC in 1993. I used to have to tweak my AUTOEXEC.BAT and CONFIG.SYS files to boot up my MS-DOS just right to allow memory-hungry games to work. I don’t buy computers off the shelf, I buy components and build them from scratch. For decades I have taught myself the functionalities of highly complex computer software packages, from AutoCAD to photo editing to video and audio and more.
I was carrying around a Sony Clie version of a PalmPilot three years before the iPhone came out.
I am about as technologically savvy as you can get for a 49 year old who isn’t a computer programmer or information technology tech.
And yet I struggle, yes, struggle, with all this “smart” tech!
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So how is a mere mortal, or worse, a senior citizen like 81-year-old Dad, supposed to figure these sorts of things out?
And especially someone whose memory and cognitive abilities are fading as they get up there in years? (Dad is within a few months of Joe Biden’s age, if you catch my meaning.)
Let’s examine this “Dumb mode,” shall we?
Somewhere, clear as a bell, should be an option on your TV to choose dumb mode. The best would be a button on the remote. Or better yet, a button on the TV, that gives you dumb mode. You get channel up/down, volume up/down, and maybe guide. That’s it. No DVR, YouTube, Prime, Netflix, Samsung, Apple, Disney+, Slack, or any other apps. Your TV provider, like Westman Communications, goes straight to the TV functionality, not trying to figure out which app it is in the menu.
On a phone – turn on dumb mode (with a button, not a swipe) and you get a phone keypad or contacts. (This is basically all I have on Dad’s phone now). That’s it. It’s a phone, not a super computer.
With cars and trucks, you keep the damned knobs – required by law. You should not be taking your eyes off the road looking at a screen to change your temperature, or turn the radio up or down. You should be able to do this by feel, as we’ve done for decades.
All these things could still revert to their “smart” version for those who want that. But for those who simply want things to work, a dumb mode would be a life-saver.
And it might be a huge selling feature, too. One thing about older people – they often have money.
But right now, I’m deathly afraid I’m going to get the dreaded tech support call from Dad because he pushed the input button on his TV and now he can never get it to work again. (this has happened.) And I live four hours away, so it’s not an easy fix.
Please, please, make things so seniors can use them.
Now get off my lawn.
Now get off my lawn!
Brian Zinchuk is editor and owner of Pipeline Online. He can be reached at brian.zinchuk@pipelineonline.ca.
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